fertility, grief, mental health, miscarriage, perinatal, pregnancy, pregnancy loss

The power of rituals

When we grieve, we can feel the we lose all track of time and reality.  The smallest and simplest of tasks can feel impossibly difficult. Finding and engaging in simple rituals can really help. https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/03/in-grief-try-personal-rituals/284397/ Researchers Michael I. Norton and Francesca Gino at Harvard Business School wanted to know how people cope with extreme loss. In… Continue reading The power of rituals

fertility, grief, miscarriage, New baby, Parenting, perinatal, pregnancy, pregnancy loss

“To the girl who hated my pregnancy announcement”

The announcement of a pregnancy by another woman/couple tends to bring terrible pain to someone who is struggling with their fertility, or has recently experienced an obstetric loss.  It isn't that they mean ill to the happily pregnant woman, it is more that that her joy makes their sadness feel even greater.  It's a really… Continue reading “To the girl who hated my pregnancy announcement”

fertility, grief, IVF risks, miscarriage, Parenting, perinatal, pregnancy, pregnancy loss

Can we predict miscarriage risk?

A new study (with findings presented at the recent ESHRE conference) has suggested that blood tests within days of embryo transfer in IVF patients might help predict which patients are most likely to miscarry in  the first trimester.  While some people might prefer not to know, this could be a really important piece of information… Continue reading Can we predict miscarriage risk?

grief, miscarriage, Parenting, perinatal, pregnancy loss

The unbearable grief for the loss of a baby

This video really describes the agony experienced by parents who lose a child.  I congratulate Rob and his family in the bravery they demonstrate in making their story public, and wish them well as they negotiate the coming months and years without their baby. https://au.tv.yahoo.com/sunrise/video/watch/36362107/grieving-parents-shouldnt-have-to-suffer-in-silence/?cmp=st#page1

fertility, grief, miscarriage, Parenting, perinatal, pregnancy, pregnancy loss

What NOT to say to a grieving parent

Sometimes the unimaginable happens, and the parents who ere preparing for the joy of a new baby are left to grieve an unbearable absence.  These parents are sometimes met with comfort and strength from the friends and family, but sometimes they encounter silence "I don't know what to say" or perhaps worse, well-meaning platitudes which… Continue reading What NOT to say to a grieving parent

grief, miscarriage, Parenting, perinatal, pregnancy, pregnancy loss

How long does grief last?

Parents whose babies have died sometimes ask me this question, almost as if they are begging to be told the pain will eventually stop. And certainly, many grieving parents are told such insensitive things as "It's time to move on", or "You have grieved enough" as if there is a time line for these things.… Continue reading How long does grief last?

fertility, grief, miscarriage, Parenting, perinatal, pregnancy, pregnancy loss

The overwhelming anxiety of a pregnancy after loss

So many of the women and men I speak with are coming to terms with having lost their much wanted and loved babies - sometimes at a relatively early stage in the pregnancy, and sometimes right at the end, in an unexpected term stillbirth. Parents who should be celebrating their joy, find themselves trying to… Continue reading The overwhelming anxiety of a pregnancy after loss

fertility, grief, miscarriage, Parenting, pregnancy loss

The miscarriage experience

Despite the frequency that miscarriage occurs (around 1/4 pregnancies) many women still feel very alone in the time after they have miscarried a baby.  Friends and family often really don't understand and partners are unsure of how they can help. This very raw story of one woman's miscarriage provides an insight into the experience and… Continue reading The miscarriage experience

fertility, grief

Grief and infertility

This is a beautiful blog about the (often unrecognised) grief of infertility http://www.huffingtonpost.com/colleen-berge/infertility-a-grief-no-one-sees_b_8978064.html? “We are mourning something intangible — what never was and what never will be. Because of this, it can also be difficult for others to grasp.”

fertility, mental health, mental illness

Infertility and psychological distress

I have just seen this article (published in July 2016's Fertility and Sterility) which describes the level of distress still being experienced by families undertaking fertility treatment.  http://m.medicalxpress.com/news/2016-08-infertility-patients-mental-health-problems.html It really looks like we are letting families down, as they progress through treatment with the goal of starting or extending heir families. The study, which followed patients… Continue reading Infertility and psychological distress